


Seeing Through Love’s Illusions

by alexcat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Divergent, Canonical Character Death, Falling In Love, Forgiveness, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Minor Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Steve and Tony are almost clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24913828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Tony and Steve have burgeoning feelings at the end of the world. What will they do about it?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22
Collections: Iron Man Big Bang 2019/2020, Of Elves and Men





	Seeing Through Love’s Illusions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Judy_The_Dreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judy_The_Dreamer/gifts).
  * Inspired by [[Art] Seeing Through Love's Illusions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24899605) by [Judy_The_Dreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judy_The_Dreamer/pseuds/Judy_The_Dreamer). 



> Check out [**Judy_The_Dreamer**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24899605)'s artwork as well. It is embedded in the story, but head on over and give her some love on her work. 
> 
> Thanks to Larry for the beta.
> 
> _While the future's there for anyone to change, still you know it seems_  
>  _It would be easier sometimes to change the past_  
>  ~ Jackson Browne
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/QN4CxDl)

Almost four years after he’d returned to Earth, Tony Stark showed up at the Avengers compound. Natasha met him at the door. 

“This is a surprise. What are you doing here?”

“I came to work on the suit. Pepper made me leave it here. I was okay with that for a while but now, I need something to do.”

Natasha nodded. She’d heard that Tony and Pepper had a child and that both of them had settled into the country life with their little girl. They didn’t live far from the compound, as a matter of fact. 

“Cap here?” Tony asked and even Natasha noticed how casual he was trying to make it sound. 

“He spends a lot of time in the city. He has a group of survivors who meet and talk about things every week. He has an apartment there, too, now.”

“Is everyone doing all right?” 

Natasha stopped walking toward the workshop that had been empty since Pepper had whisked Tony away. She turned toward Tony. “You haven’t worried enough about us to even call in almost four years, Tony. I don’t know how to answer you. We have been trying to fix things – Carol, Rhodey, Rocket, Nebula and the others are out there, searching through earth and space for answers. Steve hunts things to do that he hopes will make a difference and I’m stuck here in limbo, waiting for something to happen or someone to get an idea that will bring our people home from wherever they are right now. Does it sound to you like we’re doing all right?” Her eyes were blazing with anger and for a second, Tony wondered if she was going to reach for her knife. He was sure she had it hidden somewhere on her person. 

He sort of slumped. “I, uh, guess not, then.” He paused and then began again. “I am thinking that I’ll move in here. I – we – Pepper and I aren’t together any more. We are friends and always will be and we’re Morgan’s mom and dad, but we don’t work so well as a couple.”

“So you have nowhere to go so you show up here?” 

He shrugged. “I guess you could say that. All my workshop stuff is here. I need to get my suit updated. If I live in that house one more day with nothing to do, I’m going to tear what’s left of my hair out.”

“I can’t stop you. I think the place still technically belongs to you. Just know that no one is taking orders from you these days.” 

She was still as deadly as ever, Tony decided. He needed to get back in her good graces, it would seem. 

*

Steve didn’t come back to headquarters for the rest of that week. He had meetings each day with his survivors groups and spent time with anyone who needed some extra help and extra encouragement. He needed to feel useful, even if only as an ear to listen. 

Sometimes he avoided going back to headquarters simply because he couldn’t stop Natasha’s pain. She was obsessed with getting everyone back and each day that passed with nothing made the light fade from her eyes a little more. They had been lovers on and off since she joined him and Sam during his exile. Their friendship never waned, however, whether they were lovers or not. 

He came back four days after Tony had arrived. 

When he stopped into Natasha’s office, she nodded and looked back at whatever she was reading.

“What’s up?” he asked when she looked up.

“Stark moved in,” she said as if she were telling him that it was raining. 

“What?” He had tried not to think about Tony at all since he’d left them. Their split as friends had been hard on him. He’s cared much more for Stark than he was willing to admit to anyone, including himself. He blamed himself for the split and for hurting Stark so badly, but he’d had to protect Bucky.

“He showed up a few days ago. Said he wasn’t with Pepper anymore and wanted to live here and work on his suit.”

“He does still own the place,” Steve said with a shrug. 

“He’s in his workshop, I think. He asked about you.”

Steve didn’t comment, but he headed to the workshop. Stark wore his welding mask and was bent over his helmet, sparks flying all about. 

Steve watched him for a moment then called out to him. 

“Stark!”

Tony didn’t hear him. 

Steve flipped the light on and off. Tony turned off his torch and raised his visor. 

“Cap! How are you?”

“How am I? Really?” 

Tony shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”

Steve nodded and looked away for a moment. “Okay. You got me there. I’m okay. We’re all – a little lost, I think.” 

“I – I thought I was all right with Pepper, but it turns out that the two of us simply didn’t work out. I care for her. What she wants for me, for us, is not what I want.”

“What is that?” 

Tony took his welding helmet off and stood. “She wants me to be the billionaire father and husband who has alpacas and putters around in his little workshop in the garage.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Steve asked, though he knew the answer already. 

“I can’t be him. I’m Iron Man, Cap. I don’t know what else to be and haven’t since I put the suit on back in that cave in Afghanistan. I can’t go back to being just Tony Stark.”

Steve probably did understand more than anyone else. He had ceased to be Steve Rogers when Dr. Erskine had given him the serum back in the 40s and he wasn’t certain who he was to this day. All he knew how to be was Captain America, though since the Snap, he’d been working on being Steve.

“This is your place. If you wanna stay here, we can’t run you off.” Steve’s voice was cool but then it softened and he added, “One thing. Don’t touch Natasha’s peanut butter. She’ll knife you.” 

Tony smiled. “Good to know. She hasn’t changed too much then. Some things never change.” 

*

In the next few weeks, Tony made a couple of trips back to the house he’d shared with Pepper to get clothes and other things. Jim Rhodes was in New York at the time and helped him get moved. He was normally out with the others, hunting for information, news, and especially looking for Barton for Natasha, but truth be known, he was getting so tired of never finding anything good to tell Natasha. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Rhodey asked as they drove to the house for the last of his stuff.

“Pepper and I agreed to separate. Maybe I can be of some help to you and the others at Avengers Headquarters. I don’t know where else to go right now.”

“Are you and Rogers going to be all right? Things did not go well the last time you were together.” Rhodes was fully aware of how bad things had been between the two of them. He’d seen Tony’s meltdown when Carol had brought him and Nebula home. He’d seen Tony’s frustration and anger, but he’d also seen the pain on Rogers’ face, too. He knew how badly both men were hurt over the things that happened in Berlin and Siberia and how badly Tony’s fury had hurt Steve. 

“I don’t know. We kinda have to be, don’t we?”

Rhodes wasn’t as sure of that as Tony seemed to be, but he said nothing. 

They’d driven a few minutes in silence when Tony asked, “Are Rogers and Romanov a thing?” 

Rhodes laughed. “Who knows? None of us has been brave enough to ask. Rocket swears that she’s pining for him instead, so who knows?’

“A talking raccoon? I thought aliens were weird, but Rocket and Nebula have taken that to a whole new level.” 

“They’re both good people. Nebula doesn’t think she is, but she works hard to help and she seems to have a sort of friendship with Rocket,” Rhodes said. 

“She saved my ass on that ship,” Tony said. 

They drove up to the lakeside cabin and Morgan came running out and leaped into her father’s arms. 

“Daddy!” 

“My Maguna!” He hugged her and kissed her cheek. 

Rhodes went to the garage and began loading the last boxes to go. Tony and Morgan came into the garage a few moments later. 

“Miss Maguna is coming home with us today, Rhodey. She wants to see where I live now.” 

“Wanna see Black Widow and Captain ‘Merica, Uncle Rhodey!” 

Rhodes laughed, unsure what to say to that.

“She is having a sleepover with me so we need to make sure we have room for her suitcase and carseat,” Tony said.

An hour later, Tony, Rhodes and Morgan were on their way to Tony’s new home. 

Natasha greeted them as they came in the door. 

“Who did you bring to visit, Tony? Is this your girlfriend?” 

Tony smiled and introduced them. “This is my best girl, Morgan Stark. Morgan, this is Natasha Romanov.”

Morgan knew who else she was already. “Black Widow!”

Natasha smiled at the little girl and nodded. “I am when I need to be. You can call me Nat if you want to.” 

Morgan nodded and tried it out. “Nat, Nat. My friend Nat.” She beamed at Natasha. 

“Is Steve here?” Tony asked Natasha.

“He has his group in the city today. He should be back later.” Steve had been spending more time at Avengers headquarters since Tony had moved back though the two of them seldom saw one another outside a meal there once in a while. 

“Who’s cooking?” Tony asked.

“Steve can bring back pizza if you want. That little diner in town will deliver burgers, too,” Natasha said. “You don’t want my cooking, unless you like variations of peanut butter sandwiches.”

“I want a hamburger!” Morgan said. 

Tony knew Pepper limited their eating of red meat for health purposes, but he also knew that Pepper would be okay with him treating Morgan when she was at his new home. 

“Burgers it is, then,” Tony said with a fond smile at his daughter. “Like father, like daughter.”

Steve arrived just before dinner. 

He smiled at Morgan when he came into the dining room. “This must be Miss Stark.”

Morgan smiled shyly at him and whispered to her father, “Is that him, Daddy?” 

“Yes, it is. Morgan Stark, this is Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America.” 

“Not for a long time,” Steve said quietly but bent down to shake Morgan’s hand. 

She gave him a huge smile and sort of hid behind Tony after the handshake.

The food arrived – burgers and fries all around. Rhodes and Natasha poured sodas or milk for all and they sat down to eat. 

Tony looked around and felt a contentment that he’d not felt in a long time. They’d been a family once for a short time and he hoped they could be again. He’d missed it more than he’d thought.

*

Steve couldn’t even understand himself why he had taken to staying at headquarters instead of his little place in the city. It certainly couldn’t be Stark. 

Could it? 

He was still angry at Stark and at himself for all that had happened two years before the Snap. He was angry at himself for letting the things Tony said when he returned from Titan hurt him so much. He was also still angry that he didn’t stop Thanos in the first place. 

Steve was in his room, reading a book about grief therapy when someone tapped on the door. 

“Come in. It’s open.” 

Stark stepped into his quarters. 

“How’s it going, Rogers?” he asked as if it were the most normal thing in the world. 

Steve found himself staring. Finally he remembered his manners and said, “Fine. I’m fine. You?” 

Tony fidgeted a little then sat down on Steve’s sofa. 

“About when I came home, I’m sorry I was so angry. I had no idea what you and the others had been through. When I said you’d deserted us, I was-”

“Not entirely wrong. I wasn’t here in New York.”

“But you _were_ there. You were fighting all the time and I didn’t even know it. I became so absorbed in myself and my own problems, that I forgot that other people had lives, too.”

“I said we’d do it together, then when you needed me to be there, I wasn’t.” Steve words came out sounding tired. He’d been over this so many times in his own head that he wasn’t sure he wanted to discuss it yet again, especially with Stark.

“I didn’t come here to accuse you of anything. Steve, I came to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how things turned out in Siberia and for what happened when Carol brought me home.”

Steve looked at him, really looked and saw how much his ordeal in space had aged him. He finally stopped pacing and sat down on the sofa with Tony. “I’m sorry, too, Tony, for all the pain I caused you.” 

“Can we be friends?” Tony looked at him, eye to eye, something that he seldom did. 

“I never stopped being your friend, Tony. Never.”

Tony stood and held his hand out to shake Steve’s. Steve stood and shook the proffered hand. 

“I should go. I need to call Morgan before she goes to bed.”

“Stark, now that you’re here, will you help us try to fix this?” 

Tony nodded. “You know that I’ll do what I can.” 

*

Life with Tony seemed to settle into a routine for them all. 

Tony mostly worked in his shop. He worked on the Iron Man suit then made Steve a new Captain America suit. He didn’t show it to him, just put it in the closet with the shield he had taken. He’d repaired it, too, though he never told anyone about it. 

He improved Natasha’s Widow Bites and made new places for her to hide her guns and knives. He made her suit more breathable yet added more protection for her body. 

He worked more on Rhodey’s leg braces and on his suit as well. He worked to make the suit better and stronger than it was before, so as to never have Rhodey injured so badly again. Having Rhodey paralyzed nearly broke his heart and he knew that in the end, he was responsible for making Vision as well. Rhodey had told him what happened to Vision in Wakanda. 

He’d made a suit for Pepper in the garage at the lake house, though he hadn’t told her about it yet. He knew from when she’d worn his suit to save him that she knew how to wear it and even though they never mentioned it, she still had some Extremis in her body. He had stabilized it and made it safe, but he was never able to rid her of it entirely. 

The day would come when they all would need to suit up – something he could not voice but knew in his bones. He was getting them all ready for that time, for what Strange had called the ‘endgame’. 

Gradually, over several weeks, Steve began to visit Tony in his workshop almost every evening after dinner. 

Tony was much more pleased by the visits than he could explain to himself. Sometimes Steve helped him work and sometimes, they talked about old times, about their lives before they met. Once in a while, they just sat in companionable silence while Tony worked on something and Steve read the news or one of his therapy books. 

One night, they were talking about Howard and about the original shield that Howard made when Tony went to the closet and brought the shield out. It looked new; all the scars and cracks were repaired and the color had been redone. It looked as it had the day Howard had given it to him. 

“Here,” Tony said as he handed the shield to Steve. “It’s taking up too much room. I can’t use it and he made it for you.” 

“I – I don’t know what to say.” Steve took the shield and put his hand on the strap inside. 

“It’s yours. It always was.”

“Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.” Steve knew he wanted to say more, but wasn’t sure exactly what to say. 

“I do. Steve, we had a friendship before this happened, or at least, we were developing one. I’ve never had many friends and losing you like I did hurt. I was angry at you and angry at myself for letting everything spiral out of control.”

“Bucky, Peggy and Howard were the only friends I’d ever had before you. Buck was like a brother to me. I was jealous of Peggy and Howard most of the time, but both of them were special. When you came along, it felt sometimes like I had a chance to befriend Howard again. I know you had issues with his parenting, but he was a good man when I knew him. You’re a good man, too. I hope you know that.” 

Tony was surprised. He’d never felt like a good man. He knew that Iron Man was a hero who saved people but he still never thought of himself as a good man. 

“Are you sure?” he asked Steve. 

“I am.” 

“While I’m at it, I made you a new suit. It’s lighter and better than the others. I’ve been working on everyone’s battle gear. Yours, Romanov’s, Rhodey’s… It’s coming. We have to be ready.”

He took the suit out of the case he’d made for it and handed it to Steve. He didn’t even notice that Steve didn’t look him in the eye, until Steve quickly wiped his eyes with the back of one hand. 

“Try it on and see if it works for you,” Tony told him. 

Steve did just that. Tony tried not to watch as he undressed down to his underwear and socks. It was only the hammering of his heart inside his ribs that made him understand that what he was feeling was not all together friendship. 

The suit fit perfectly and was easier to move in than Steve’s earlier suits. He struck a pose. “What d’you think?” 

Tony bit his lip, thinking carefully how to answer. “Perfect. You look perfect in it.”

“It makes me look good.” 

Tony answered in his normal tone but his words were far from normal. “No, Cap, _you_ make the suit look good.”

Tony couldn’t help but notice the flush on Steve’s face at his words. 

After they decided the suit was good to go as it was made, Steve changed back into his slacks and shirt. 

“Take it with you,” Tony told him when he got ready to go. 

For a moment, he thought Steve might hug him, but the moment passed and Steve left. 

*

Tony was never much for training, certainly not like Steve trained, but he did do a little weight training and rode the Peloton most days. He noticed when Steve began his usual workout with the old fashioned punching bag at the same time Tony hit the gym. At first, Tony didn’t pay much attention to Steve, but as time passed, he found himself not even bothering with the bike’s fancy programming, turning the bike instead so he could watch Steve punch. Steve tended to wear pants and a t-shirt when he worked out instead of more modern workout gear and Tony couldn’t deny the pure perfection of Steve Rogers beating the crap out of that old fashioned punching bag. 

“What do you think about when you do that?” Tony asked one day when Steve had finished and was unwrapping his hands. 

“My mind tends to drift back to the war.” 

Tony nodded. “I am sorry for what happened to him,” he said then added, “Barnes, I mean.”

“Yeah. Me, too. He was finally rid of the programming and trying to come to terms with the things he’d done. He would have let Ross take him, you know. He said he did the crimes, he deserved the punishment. I wouldn’t let him. That was all on me.” 

Tony didn’t say anything for a minute. “It’s hard for me to forgive, but I do understand he had no choice. I’m working on it.”

Steve nodded. 

“Let me buy you a coffee,” Tony offered, unsure of what else to say.

“I suspect you already paid for the coffee here anyway, but okay, let’s get a coffee.”

They headed to the coffee makers in the main dining room. Steve poured himself a cup of the coffee in the big urn, while Tony made a cup from the gourmet coffee machine. They sat down at a table and sipped in a companionable silence for several minutes, but Tony could never stand too much quiet. 

“Thank you for stepping up when I wasn’t here. For fighting in Wakanda, for trying to save the world. I was wrong to say the things I did.”

Steve nodded, not sure what to say. Stark apologizing was an odd thing to hear. “You already said. I’m good with it, Tony. We’re good.” 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/189041402@N03/50041610981/in/dateposted-public/)

*

Everything changed when Scott Lang showed up on the doorstep with his ideas of hacking time and using the Pym particles to fix things. 

Tony wanted nothing to do with it. 

“You could be a big help,” Steve said as they drank coffee in the little kitchen as they’d begun doing every morning. 

“I can’t see a way to do it safely, Steve. I can’t lose any more of my friends. I gotta take a pass on this one.”

“I can go, Tony. I don’t have anything to lose.”

“I do. I can’t lose you either, Steve. I can’t risk it.”

“You know that we have to try anyway?” 

Tony looked down. “See, that’s what I want to discourage. _You_ need to discourage it.”

“Natasha isn’t going to listen to me. You know that. She needs to get Barton’s family back for him, needs to get them all back.”

“I get that, but I’m a scientist, Cap. It won’t work. It’s unstable at best. It’ll kill you at worst.” 

“Will you think about it?”

Tony shook his head, but his words said what his gesture didn’t. “I will. I will think about it. I want them back, too. Parker -” He choked on Peter Parker’s name and started again. “Peter Parker is a boy, a child. I need to get him back. So yes, I will think about it.” 

“That’s all I can ask, I guess.” Steve touched Tony’s shoulder before he left the kitchen.

*

Tony’s refusal did not stop Steve from seeking out Banner and bringing him home in his new all the time Hulk style. Professor Hulk was big and green and smart like Bruce. The new Bruce took some getting used to for them all.

Bruce agreed to help because he was as desperate as they all were to fix things. Underneath his joyful new character, he still hurt at how much they’d lost and how little he’d been able to help.

Tony acted as if he weren’t paying attention but he was. He was familiar with Pym’s work and he knew that Pym had been at SHIELD when his father was there. He had come across some classified files about what had happened to Pym’s wife. He knew what they were trying to do – travel in time without much passage of time here in this reality. It wasn’t as simple as they thought and he knew they’d find that out soon enough. He really hoped that no one got hurt or lost when they tried. 

He left them to it and worked on his suit some more. He worked obsessively on all their suits, afraid for them to be hurt again.

It turned out that he couldn’t ignore the others as easily as he wanted to, either, and he began to work on the time travel problem. The problem was that they seemed to have no anchor or direction – or they wouldn’t when they got Pym’s machine up and running. 

He was also still tweaking Pepper’s suit in secret. He knew that the time would come that she’d need it and he meant for her to have as good a suit as he could build for the mother of his child. So he slipped it out of the garage and brought it to headquarters and worked on it there.

He was doing just that when Steve joined him in his workshop. 

“Who are you making the suit for?” 

“Pepper. She might need it someday. And I like building the darn things.” Tony smiled. 

None of them would ever forget the army of suits he’d built after New York, the army that Ultron had taken for his own. 

“Does she have a name?” 

“I guess that’ll be up to her. Iron Woman? Iron Mother?” 

Steve laughed. “Maybe you really should let her decide. I see you’ve been working on your suit a lot, too. Show me what you’ve done.” 

Tony stood and touched the center of the arc reactor on his chest and it covered him like a metal skin. He kept his visor open as he told Steve about the small improvements he’d made. 

“I was afraid I’d never wear it again, you know.” 

Steve nodded. “I was afraid we’d never see you again, that I’d never get a chance to make things right.”

“And I denied you that, too, didn’t I?” 

Steve stepped closer to Tony in his suit and reached a hand out, touching the red metallic suit on the shoulder. “That isn’t true, is it? We have talked and we _are_ friends, aren’t we?” 

“We are.”

Tony touched the reactor again and the suit retracted. Steve’s hand was still on his shoulder. Tony reached up and touched it briefly then the moment passed. 

*

Tony watched the experiments with interest and with some trepidation. They were testing the old machine on Scott Lang and their success was limited in just the way he’d thought it would be. They couldn’t control the time jump, making it skip around rather randomly. 

Unknown to them all, he’d been running numbers then simulations with FRIDAY every night in his room. He’d give the AI his data and she would run the equations and show him the results. He didn’t expect much to come of it until it did. 

He was stunned. He had done it – solved time travel. 

He realized it was time for him to go to Pepper’s to visit Morgan and have pizza with them. He saved everything and headed to the lake house. 

Morgan met him on the porch.

“How has your day been, Daddy?” she asked. 

“I’ve had an interesting day, my Morguna. Ready for pizza?”

She smiled and nodded. 

They went inside. Pepper was just putting the pizzas in the oven. She wiped her hands on a towel and smiled at her daughter and her former partner. Dinner was in front of the television while they all watched the 1939 version of _The Wizard of Oz_ , Morgan’s new favorite movie. She had named one of her stuffed animals Toto and asked her mom for ruby slippers this week. 

Tony wondered what she’d say if she met Rocket Raccoon. 

After Morgan went to bed, Tony stayed to talk to Pepper. He needed her input about his discovery. She was the one person he knew who would tell him the unvarnished truth, no matter what. 

“I figured it out, by the way,” he told her.

Pepper looked up from her book on composting. “You know, just so we’re talking about the same thing-”

“Time travel,” he told her. “I ran the numbers this afternoon.”

“What? Wow! That’s amazing and terrifying.”

“That’s right.” He was still a little shocked at the whole thing himself.

“We got really lucky,” she said quietly. 

He nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He looked toward the steps that led to Morgan’s room.

“A lot of people didn’t.” 

“I can’t help everybody,” he said.

Pepper answered. “It sorta seems like you can.”

“I can put a pin in it now and stop.”

A sad look crossed her face then she smiled just as sadly. “Trying to get you to stop has been one of the few failures of my life.” He knew it was true. He smiled at her. 

He had to give her a chance to talk him out of it. “I sometimes feel I should shove it in a locked box and drop it at the bottom of a lake … and go to bed.”

And she finally said it, the sentence that told him what he had to do. “But would you be able to rest?” 

He stayed over at Pepper’s. They talked long into the night. She understood, or at least he hoped she would. 

After breakfast with her and Morgan the next morning, he headed out to his car. Pepper and Morgan walked with him to his car. Before he got in, he turned to Pepper. “I left something in the garage for you. It’s in the metal case.” 

He had finished her suit and affixed the control to an arc reactor that would simply stick to the surface of her skin and would open the suit when she pressed the casing, much like his own suit.

“I know. Thank you.” She kissed his cheek before he closed the car door.

*

Steve was standing outside when Tony drove up. He looked both annoyed and worried. 

“You tried it while I was gone, didn’t you?” Tony asked as soon as he stopped and rolled down his window. “He turned into a baby?”

Steve nodded, looking miserable. “And more.”

“I’ve got something that will fix that. It’s a time GPS… we can control when and where we go. We‘ve got a shot at getting the stones now. I hope we can bring back what we lost but I can’t lose what I have. I just can’t.” 

Steve nodded. “Sounds like a deal.” 

They shook hands. 

*

It was time to find Barton and bring Thor back. Rhodey had located Barton in Japan. Natasha went after him while Bruce and Rocket headed for New Asgard to find Thor. Tony began work on suits for their travels. He used Pym’s design but he made improvements, of course. He did have better equipment than Pym had and the cost was not a problem. Of course, he also had to build a time machine to send himself and the others on their ‘Time hack’ missions, as they’d begun calling them. The GPS bracelets were ready to test.

Tony decided to see who was home. 

Scott Lang was following Rhodey around while Nebula sort of followed Tony unless Rocket was around. Steve ran a lot and still hit his meetings in the city. 

Tony wondered if Steve was home today. He tapped on Steve’s door. “Anyone here?”

No one answered, but the door was not locked. He went in. 

He sat on the sofa. The place was neat and clean. The only thing not in order was the sketchbook lying on the sofa. Tony leaned forward and picked it up. He began to thumb through it. He realized quickly that the book was not for anyone’s eyes but Steve’s. He didn’t stop looking though. There were dozens of pencil drawings – of them all. 

Natasha in her Black Widow gear. Natasha in nothing but a pair of panties, sitting by the window and staring out. He’d never seen such a sad look on anyone’s face. There was a third one of her sharpening several wicked looking knives. 

There were a couple of Bruce before he became Professor Hulk and some of him now with his huge form and his glasses. 

He’d captured Rhodes in his suit, but the more poignant one was Rhodes sitting on the sofa with his canes by his side, watching some sort of sports with Bruce and Natasha. 

He’d gotten Nebula in one of her less guarded moments, while she was sparring with Natasha. 

Then he turned the page to see drawings of himself. He was working out, talking on his phone, playing with Morgan… There were drawings of him in his suit, one as he lay on the pavement in New York, one of the way he looked when they’d argued on the Quinjet. 

He was so intent that he didn’t hear the door open. He looked up and blushed, something Tony Stark very seldom did. 

“Sorry. It was just here.”

“It’s all right, Tony. I like to draw everyone. It helps me think.”

“You’re really good.”

“Maybe I can be an artist if the superhero business dries up,” Steve said with a smile. 

“I’m kinda hoping when we fix this thing, we put ourselves out of business,” Tony said.

“There will always be trouble somewhere.” Steve sat on the other end of the sofa.

“We’ve done our time, Cap. As much as I love being Iron Man, I’m tired.”

Steve nodded. He had thought once or twice over the last few years that perhaps he needed to find a life for himself. If he ever had the time.

“Are you and Natasha, is she your – girlfriend?” Tony felt like an idiot for asking but he saw the drawings of her. 

Steve looked at him oddly for a moment then realized that Tony had seen his drawings. “We – there were some cold, lonely nights. We turned to one another. We’re – well, we’re friends, best friends.”

Tony felt relief and didn’t quite understand why. 

“We spent a lot of those two years on the run. I think we were both just so alone.” 

“And now?” 

“Now, there’s no one. I don’t really have a lot of time for dating. And who would I date?”

Tony looked at him and knew the answer, to his own relief. He said nothing to Steve, however. 

*

Natasha returned with Barton as they were trying to talk Lang into trying out the new GPS that Tony had designed and the rudimentary portal that was ready for testing as well. Barton volunteered to test it and, much to his surprise, it worked. He went to his home and heard his daughter’s voice in the house, knew she was alive and not dust. 

They finally got down to the work of deciding where to actually go to get the stones. They only had a limited number of Pym particles so they needed to make their trips count. They decided that Tony, Steve, Bruce and Scott would go back to New York during the invasion. There were three stones there. Thor and Rocket would go back to Asgard for the Reality Stone. Rhodes and Nebula would find the Power Stone on Morag and finally, Clint and Natasha would go to Vormir for the Soul Stone. 

They had their plan, but Stark had not yet completed the quantum portal. 

Everyone was getting edgy and nervous. What if it didn’t work? What if it did? 

They worked and brainstormed and worked some more nearly all the time for several weeks. They took turns eating and sleeping. They argued, they laughed, they cried, but they kept working. All of them. 

Late one night when everyone else had finally gone to bed, Tony was working on the suits and Steve was helping him. He wore the white suit and told Tony where adjustments needed making in the fit.

“Do you think this is gonna work, Steve? We’ve put a lot into it but everything has to go right for it all to work. What are the chances of that happening?”

“I think we can do it. If things fuck up, we can deal with them. We have before and I’m pretty sure we can again.” 

After he removed the suit, Steve clapped Tony on the shoulder and looked into his eyes a moment longer than he normally did. Tony felt his insides respond to the look. He almost kissed Steve. But Natasha wandered in and the moment passed. 

“So are you guys going to get some rest?” she asked. 

“I am,” Tony answered. “I’m not as young as I once was.”

“I’ll walk you to the elevator,” Steve said. 

Tony nodded, almost too tired to notice. Once they got to the elevator, Tony turned to Steve. Maybe it was his tiredness or maybe it was a sense that his time with Steve might be coming to an end, but Tony said, “I almost kissed you before Romanov came in.”

He’d expected Steve to look shocked, but that was not the case. Steve answered, “I know.”

Stark raised a brow. “You know? How? Can we read each other’s minds now?”

“No. I wanted to kiss you back, that’s how I knew.” 

“Do you still? – want to kiss me back?”

Steve grinned and kissed Tony’s lips quickly, just a touch. Tony didn’t push, didn’t reach for him though he wanted to. He got on the elevator and went to his big empty bed. Maybe when they’d finished this thing, everything would work out. 

When he got back to his own room, Steve grabbed his sketchbook and drew pictures of Stark, several of the two of them kissing. He sat with the sketchbook long into the night. He wondered what might have happened if he’d pressed Tony. Whatever was happening had been coming for a long time, long before Berlin and Siberia and all the anger in the world couldn’t make it go away completely. 

At least, he felt that way and he was fairly certain that Stark did, too.

* 

They went on their missions. 

Tony and Scott didn’t get the Tesseract. Unforeseen events screwed up everything. Steve had almost messed his up, too, when he’d met and fought himself. To fix things, Steve and Tony went to Camp Lehigh, where Tony met Howard and Steve saw Peggy. They got the Tesseract and Steve nabbed several extra vials of Pym Particles. 

Just as they got ready to go home, Tony leaned close to Steve and whispered, “If you ever need to find me in time, come here now.”

Steve didn’t know what he meant, but agreed. Sometimes it was just easier to say yes to Stark and go on. This seemed to be one of those times. 

Natasha didn’t come back from her mission. She’d made the sacrifice so Barton could come back to his family. He had the Soul Stone. 

Steve couldn’t breathe. He had lost a lot, his mother, Bucky, lots of comrades in war, but Natasha was – she was his best friend. She stayed by him, no matter what.

They were outside on the dock, mourning her loss. Steve hadn’t been able to hold back his tears. None of them had ever seen him so devastated.

“Do we know if she had family?” Tony asked Steve.

“Yeah. Us,” Steve answered, remembering the conversation they’d had just before Scott Lang showed up about how they had all become her family and that she couldn’t rest until every one of them was back home and safe.

“What?” Thor asked, coming out his near daze for a moment.

“I just asked him a question-” Stark began.

“Yeah, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Cap, we can bring her back, isn't that right? So stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together,” Thor said, his voice sounding a little more desperate with every word.

“We can't get her back,” Barton told him, words flat.

“Wha– what?” Thor seemed to waking from his daze finally.

“It can't be undone. It can't,” Barton insisted.

“I'm sorry. No offense, but you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And ‘can't’ seems very definitive don't you think?” Thor laughed, though there was certainly a sound of desperation in the laugh.

“Yeah, look, I know that I'm way outside my paygrade here. But she still isn't here, is she?” They could tell he was losing patience with the sometimes thick god.

“No, that's my point–”

“It can't– be undone. Or that's at least what the red floating guy had to say,” Barton said then he finally shouted at Thor, “Maybe you wanna go talk to him, okay? Go grab your hammer, and you go fly and you talk to him!”

Barton’s face crumpled. “It was supposed to be me. She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it.”

Bruce hurled a bench out across the lake.

Tony put a hand on Steve’s shoulder and felt him trembling. 

“Let’s get back inside,” he said low enough that it was meant only for Steve’s ears. Steve nodded and they went back inside the building. They went to Steve’s quarters and Tony closed the door behind them. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her,” Steve said as he sat on the sofa. 

Tony sat beside him. “Tell me about her, Steve.”

“She was my constant, Tony. She was there for me from the beginning. I remember the first time I saw her onboard the helicarrier. She was all business, yet she was warm. I’d read what I could of her file and she was nothing like the assassin who’d defected from Russia that her file said she was.”

Tony put an arm around Steve’s shoulder and Steve continued. 

“Fury paired me with her at SHIELD. I wasn’t sure I could trust her. She went with me to find out who was behind Fury’s attack and when we went on the lam, she stuck by me then, too.”

He sat still for a few minutes, saying nothing.

Tony spoke. “Fury sent her to spy on me. She got a job as one of my assistants. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. Pepper was jealous, I think, but she didn’t say anything. I was kind of disappointed when she turned out to be a SHIELD agent. She was a damned good assistant, efficient as hell.”

“She was with me and Sam most of the two years we spent in hiding. She kept me from giving up.”

“I’m so sorry, Steve.”

They both sat for a long time, saying nothing. Both men were thinking of Natasha and both of them knew that nothing would ever be the same without her. 

“Why don’t you come up to the penthouse with me? I’ve got a bottle of Stoli she gave me a long time ago. Drink with me,” Tony finally said. 

Steve nodded, saying nothing. 

Once in Tony’s penthouse, they drank to her, both of them shedding tears by now. 

*

*

Tony had realized that he was in love with Steve in the days after they returned with the stones. He’d known that he wanted Steve for a while. The love part was new. He had no idea how Steve felt. He wasn’t even sure that Steve was into men at all. Tony had always been flexible in his sexuality. Honestly, he’d sleep with nearly anyone who’d say yes. Or that had been true in the past. He’d not been with anyone other than Pepper in a long time. 

He also felt an urgency. Since the last words that Strange had said to him, he’d felt the urgency. He needed to say the things he wanted the others to know. He needed to tie up his loose ends. The problem was that he wasn’t sure what Steve thought or felt. He wasn’t even sure that Steve hadn’t been in love with Natasha. He’d taken her death as hard as Bruce had. 

He decided he’d talk to Pepper. She was wiser than almost anyone he knew. Besides, he really wanted to kiss and hug his sweet little Morgan. He drove out to the house he’d shared with them, catching Morgan when she leaped into his embrace as soon as he got out of the car. 

“Daddy! Mama is making a pie from her blueberries. Maybe she’ll let us both have some!”

They went inside and indeed, Tony smelled the delicious smell of blueberry pie. 

“Go wash your hands. Dinner will be ready soon,” Pepper said to both of them. 

“Pie?” Morgan asked.

“Pie is for dessert. We’re having zughetti with marinara sauce.”

“No goji berries?” Tony asked with a smile. 

“No, the alpaca keeps eating them.”

Tony laughed. “I suppose I could find him a new home.” 

Pepper laughed. “He’s kinda grown on me now.”

They had dinner and pie, then Tony put Morgan to bed, the one thing he missed the most since he’d moved out. 

“Do you still love me three thousand?” he asked her as he kissed her forehead and pulled her blankets up.

“Of course, silly Daddy. I’ll always love you three thousand.” 

He sat with her until she fell asleep then he kissed her cheek and tiptoed out of her room. Pepper was sitting on the sofa, reading yet another book on composting. He wondered why on earth she found the subject so interesting. 

Her compost surely made some tasty blueberries, though. 

“Come sit down and tell me what’s on your mind. You’ve been antsy ever since you got here,” Pepper patted the seat beside her. 

Tony sat. “You know me too well, Miss Potts. I – well, I think I might be in love.”

“And?” 

“I need your advice. You’re the smartest person I know besides me.” 

“I am? Then how did I get tangled up with you?” 

He nodded toward the steps. “The universe needed Morgan, don’t you think?” 

“So who are you in love with, Tony? Steve?” 

He sat up straighter and blinked at her. “How did you know?” 

“You act like an idiot around him. And he can’t take his eyes off of you.”

“You think he loves me?” 

“Honey, did you see the way he looked at you when you got off that ship?”

Tony had. He’d seen the concern, the relief and then the awful sadness when Tony had lashed out at him a few days later. He’d simply thought it was Steve being Steve. But maybe it _was_ more. 

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I do. Talk to him. He’s lonely. He’s carried the weight of the world over this all. Natasha told me that he was devastated in Wakanda, that he blamed himself for all of it. You telling him he’d deserted you didn’t help. He was there when you were gone. Maybe you’d have defeated Thanos on Titan if he’d been there, but I don’t think so.”

Tony opened his mouth but nothing came out. He tried again. “I’ve wronged him?”

“He wouldn’t think so. He’s been willing all along to take the blame, to shoulder the responsibility. That’s just Steve.” 

“But what do you think?” 

“Talk to him. If you really do love him, tell him. He might not be interested but you won’t know until you ask, will you?”

“We talked a little, but not about being – we decided that we’re friends.”

He left Pepper’s house trying to figure out what he would say to Steve. 

*

Once back at the headquarters, he decided to talk to Steve tomorrow. He worked on the gauntlet instead. He’d finished it. All they needed to do was put the stones in it and have someone use it. 

Everyone gathered around as he, Bruce and Rocket began the final touches to having it ready to go. They were all too preoccupied to notice that Nebula was nowhere in sight. 

Even Rocket didn’t notice her missing as he asked, “All right. The glove's ready. Question is, who's gonna snap their freaking fingers?”

“I'll do it,” Thor said as he came toward them.

Lang looked at him like he was crazy. “Excuse me?”

Thor held his hands up. “It's okay.”

They all converged on Thor. Steve finally said, “Wait, wait, Thor, just wait. We haven't decided who's gonna put that on yet.”

“I'm sorry. What, we're just sitting around waiting for the right opportunity?”

Lang told him, “We should at least discuss it.”

Thor was having none of it. “No, no, sitting here staring at that thing is not gonna bring everybody back. I'm the strongest Avenger, okay? So this responsibility falls upon me. It's my duty.”

Tony tried again with him. “It's not about that -”

“It's not that -” Thor shushed Tony. “Stop it! Just let me!” He was near tears. ”Just let me do it. Just let me do something good. Something right.”

Tony tried again. “Look– It's not just the fact that that glove is channeling enough energy to light up a continent, I'm telling you, you're in no condition.”

Thor still wasn’t giving up. “What do you– What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?”

Always the smartass, Rhodey said, “Cheez Whiz?”

“Lightning.”

Bruce finally spoke. “Lightning won't help you, pal. It's gotta be me.” He told them all. “You saw what those stones did to Thanos. It almost killed him. None of you could survive.”

“How do we know you will?” Steve asked him.

“We don't. But the radiation's mostly gamma. It's like...uh...I was made for this.”

“Good to go, yeah?” Tony asked Bruce. He knew that Bruce was right, but he felt bad for Thor.

“Let's do it,” Bruce said.

Tony reminded him, “You remember– everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago and just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last five years.”

“Got it,” Bruce told him.

They all suited up for their own protection. They all remembered what Thanos had looked like after using the stones. Tony spoke. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., do me a favor and activate Barn Door Protocol. Will you?”

“Yes, boss.”

All the doors and windows began to close.

“Everybody comes home,” Bruce said and slid his huge hand into the gauntlet as it molded itself to his hand. The power was visible as it ran through him. He groaned in pain and grabbed his arm as he dropped to one knee.

Thor was shouting, “Take it off! Take it off!”

Steve intervened. “No, wait. Bruce, are you okay?”

Bruce was still moaning when Tony said, “Talk to me, Banner.”

Bruce managed to get some control. “I’m okay. I'm okay.” He fought through the pain and finally managed to snap his fingers. He fainted dead away, Barton kicked the gauntlet away and Tony sprayed some fire retardant on him.

“Did it work?” Bruce asked.

Lang headed toward the outside doors, which opened back up just as Clint’s phone started to buzz.

“Guys– I think it worked!”

And from his ship above them, Thanos blasted the headquarters to hell.

Tony saw Steve on the ground and helped him get up, happier that he could say that Steve was all right. They did battle. They all did battle and in the end, they saved the galaxy from the mad Titan once and for all. 

After he used the gauntlet to destroy Thanos, Tony had a million thoughts in his mind at one time. He would never see Morgan again. Or Pepper. He’d never tell Steve Rogers that he really did love him. He’d never be Iron Man again…

There was so much he wanted to say, to tell them all. 

There she was in her new suit, Pepper. “Hey, Pep -” but he couldn’t say more. Things were getting dark around the edges and even though he knew he was burning up, he felt strangely cold.

“Tony, look at me. We’re gonna be okay. You can rest now.” 

Yes, rest… that was what he needed. He needed to rest…

*

Camp Lehigh, New Jersey, 1970 

Steve Rogers was dressed in his normal khakis and checked shirt. He fit in fairly well with the other non-military people on the base. He watched and waited for Tony to come out of the building so he could speak to him. There he was and he was talking to Howard. Steve moved to where he was sure Howard couldn’t see him and waited.

He saw himself in the distance in a uniform. 

He caught up with Tony. 

“Shit, we did it.” Tony said to him as they fell in step together. 

“We did.”

“And I died?” 

Steve bit his lip, then nodded. Tony saw the unshed tears in his eyes. 

“Are Morgan and Pepper all right?” 

“They are. You had a nice funeral, too.” Steve smiled sadly when he said it. 

“You get all the stones returned?” 

“I did.” 

“Are they expecting you back?” 

“Not all of them. Bucky knows. He’ll keep my secret.”

They reached the car that Steve had bought. He’d prepared, getting an ID for himself and for Tony, too. He took enough money to get them by for a while. He’d bought them both some clothes as well. 

“You know that this will make a new timeline?” Tony asked him. 

“I do.”

They got in the car and Steve put the key in the ignition. He turned to Tony and smiled. 

“Start the car. Let’s get going.” 

“Not quite yet.” Steve put his hand up to touch Tony’s face and leaned close to him. He kissed Tony, a kiss that he felt like he waited all his life for. He put the other hand on Tony’s shoulder and pulled him close, deepening the kiss. Tony embraced him as well. 

They broke apart and Steve turned the key. The car fired up. He turned to Tony. “You better be worth it. I traveled back fifty-five years to find you again and gave up being Captain America.”

Tony just smiled and looked out the window to the future, their future.

**Author's Note:**

> My [**Tumblr**](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexcat45).


End file.
